Field Notes of A Happy Wife

"... Oh Lord, deliver me from the dishes tonight..."

How did you choose me, you ask one day.

I don’t know, I replied.  There were probably reasons, I know, but for the life of me I can’t recall them now.  I guess instincts took over.  And I always trust my instincts.

We were different people then.  We had different priorities and different backgrounds and different everything.  Sometimes those differences became points of conflict, other times they offer glimpses into our childhood which explained a lot why we are the way we are today.  But whenever one of those conversations took us down that unpalatable route, one thing’s for sure… there was always this strong pull from within reminding us why we are together in the first place.

So today, in honor of your birthday, I think it is just magnanimously important to put into writing thirty-seven of the many good reasons why I chose you.  This way, when we go through choppy waters, or through the many challenges life will throw our way, I will be reminded why I said “I do” to you in the first place. 

This is my own little way of letting you know not just how much I value all the things that you bring into the marriage table but also so that you will see that there are things great and small about you that make our marriage a wonderful place to be.

1. We are incredibly different from each other that we make life and being together so interesting.  We complement each other.  In some areas, you are strong when I am not and vice versa.   You keep me grounded and I help you realize your many potentials.

2. But despite these differences, we are also remarkably similar in many respects – we have the same attitude towards money, family, priorities, friends, etc.

3. You got my back. Always.  I know that you are always there for me.  I know that you are always 100% behind me.  This is hugely important to me especially that I am far away from my family and friends.

4. I can be myself when I am with you without fear of ridicule or rejection.  Most days I have a very strong personality.  I say what I mean and I mean what I say.  I can be matter of fact and speak without regard to how my words can affect another person.  I can be overly passionate about my cause.  I am a work in progress but what I like is that you are quick to put me in check when I am wrong… in your gentlest and most understanding ways.

5. You pray with me.

6. You always try to cheer me up and buy me ice cream when its “one of those days”. I don’t know how or what it is exactly but I am always generally in a better mood whenever you are around.

7. You are a good cook… and an excellent baker too!  You can totally rock an apron with confidence.

8. You have a beautiful singing voice.  Not a lot of people know it but when you sing, you can transform a room into a happy place.

9. I love your goofy banana dance and then we would laugh like howler monkeys whenever you do it.

10. You like to snuggle and your big bear hugs are the coziest.

11. You are very imaginative.  I love how you are becoming in your creative side.  You pay painstaking attention to detail whenever you are working on your acrylic paintings or military figures.  The concentration you pour into making something so beautiful tells me that you will not compromise when it comes to things that are important to you.

12. You are responsible and dependable.  When you promised my mother you will take care of me,  that became your life’s mission and vision.

13. You are always clean and neat and well-groomed.   You love classic pieces and the finer things in life.  You like to take care of yourself.

14. You love to read!  Of course, you are a history buff and you love reading up on military history and strategy, whodunits and suspense but you are also open to reading other genres which is just so admirable.  A man who reads is definitely SEXY!

15. You never leave home without a kiss goodbye and when you come home, there’s always a kiss hello too.

16. I appreciate everyday you’ve gone to work even when you don’t feel like it.

17.  You have great friends.  Sure they might not be perfect, but they are some of the most respectful, caring and helpful men I have ever met.  Birds of the same feather,  flock together.  I am glad you are always in good company.

18.  You like my friends (especially the ones we had wonderful dinners with) and even those you haven’t met yet and yes, even the ones I don’t particularly care about.

19. You are not easily angered.  Well, there are of course things that make you angry (like when you’re driving, everybody becomes an idiot) but when it comes to me you encompass one major part of 1 Corinthians 13’s description of love… it is not easily angered.  I wish I knew how you do it, but you make me want to become a better person everyday.

20. You give me space and freedom.  This is important to me because I grew up in a matriarchal household and brought up to be a decision-maker, an independent thinker and a financial guru before reaching puberty.  On the other hand, you grew up with a house full of people and is perfectly fine having someone around all of the time.  You are totally fine with my me-time and I like that we can be silent and do our own thing and not feel like one of us is ignoring the other.

21. You drive safely (because there are so many idiots on the road!).

22. You always believed I can be a good writer.

23. You are home to me.  You know, home, that place where I can put aside all pretensions and be accepted for the person i really am at my very core.  You are the only person that allows me to be me without judgement.  I can’t imagine not having you as the person who accepts me, flaws and all, to share my life with.

24. You are my best friend.  I talk a lot and sometimes I talk your ear off but you always listen to my nonsense and share in my joy and sadness.  You are the keeper of my secrets and my favorite travel buddy.

25. You bring me breakfast even if you came from night shift.

26. You like long walks… even if sometimes I grumble halfway through.

27.  You are proud of me.  I can find the best value for our money in almost anything and get a lower rate without compromising quality (holidays, designer clothes, cutlery and crockery, a bag of rice, milk, etc.)  I can make old things look like new again.  I can take an idea and make it come to life.  There are a ton of things I can do better than you and a ton of things you can do better than me.  But what I love about you is that there is no man-pride associated with any of this.  You are not afraid to ask me for help because you know I was placed by God in your life to be your help mate.

28. You love movies as much as I do.  We both love being outdoors but we also love nothing better than to spend a gloomy winter’s day or a Sunday afternoon curled up on the couch with a bunch of “talkies”.

29. You help me with the housework and the dishes.  Because clutter is NOT sexy!

30. You are patient and kind.  You don’t have a cruel or mean bone in your body.  You are pretty tolerant of everyone and everything.  You love unconditionally. 

(but I know one or two people who have hurt you and it is unforgivable)

31. You are very affectionate.  You are also very private in your affections.  I also love the way your hands find mine while we’re walking or in a crowded room.

32. You forgive me.

33. You live for the moment and for that you remind me not to take life so seriously.

34. Babies and kids love you!  I trust them as good judges of character.  You are also gentle and not afraid to be silly with them.  I just know you will be a great father one day.

35. I love the way you call me “baby”.  And how your beautiful green eyes light up when you say it.

36. I love the way you give me the remote all the time.

37. I love your openness to try new things with me, be it food or books or our next destination.

This list was so easy to write, but also hard because I had to limit it to just 37 reasons when I can think of at least a million!  I love you with all of my heart, soul and life and I hope and pray we will have many days and many years to come so I can show you more and more reasons why you will always be THE ONE. 

Happy 37^th Birthday baby!